This week was oddly easy. I breezed through my MET lifts and my cardio like they were nothing. I made leg day my bitch with Lauren, zipped through my 400 HIIT sprints in 45 minutes (6 miles in 45 mins, y'all - that's insane for the tail end of contest prep), and I turned down pizza and cupcakes like they were dog shit. I'm settling in for peak week, although my trainer doesn't really take any drastic measures during the dry out week. Some carb, water, and salt manipulation and BAM - insta-sexy. No drugs, no diuretics, no bullshit voodoo magic that most other trainers employ. Yet another reason that I heart LA.
Mentally, I feel like I should be freaking out more. I'm at complete peace: I've put in all the hard work, I've done all that I can, and I've been 100% compliant on my diet for 10 straight weeks. I can only control the effort, not the outcome. What happens next Saturday is out of my hands at this point. I have no clue what the other girls will look like, I have no clue whether or not the judges will like my physique, and I have no idea how many girls will be in my height class. I think after going through this process 3 times now I am far more accepting of the unknown. It is what it is. Give 100% all the time, every time, and let the chips fall where they may. That's all you can do.
A lot of people ask, "Doesn't that bother you? Knowing that you work so hard for over 2 months, to potentially not place?" Sure, it's a risk every competitor must take. But I'm not in this for the trophy. I'd love one, don't get me wrong, but I compete to prove to myself that I have the ability to do something that 99% of America does not. My willpower is unmatched. My determination cannot be beat. My work ethic cannot be outdone. It's a lot of work for 1 very short day, but the PROCESS is what this is all about for me. Competitors who place so much emphasis on placements are in for a big let down. BIG. And I feel sorry for them, really - to place so much of their self-worth on a $40 trophy just seems sad and pathetic to me. I am not Beth Polisson: figure competitor. I am Beth Polisson: daughter, sister, girlfriend, mother to Trotter, friend, spin instructor, white-girl dancer, foodie, chef, project manager......I define myself by more than just competing. This is a HOBBY. For those who base their lives on this, what happens when the heels come off? What happens when the suits are sold and the stage is no longer your home? Then what????? IT makes me depressed for those people just thinking about it.
So, win or lose, trophy or no trophy, I am victorious. And, win or lose, I still get to EAT PANCAKES, BITCHES!!! The next time I post here, I hope to have a trophy and an IFPA pro card in my hands - until then someone please, for the love of God, go have a pumpkin spice latte for me.
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